 Post-natal depression, a marriage threatening to fail and fall-out from the lousy choices I'd made to fix my world, had me in a pit of despair. I was 29 and on a chemical roller-coaster of antidepressants and tranquillizers. At 17 I'd kicked out the 'churchianity' of my youth, despising it as a meaningless ritual for respectable people, and left home for London.
But now I was desperate, hungry to do life in a better way. An invitation to a weekly bible group where my boys were cared for and the women glowed with love, disarmed me. For a year I attended, keeping my distance from the 'goody-goodies' as I perceived them, but unable to stay away. They spoke of Jesus as their friend, talking to Him and receiving His help for their lives.
A year later found me at the end of my rope. A phrase came into my mind: 'You don't have to go on like this'. It came as a revelation and I knew by then that all I had to do was surrender. So I  simply asked God, if He was real, to take my life and help me. There were no angelic voices, bells or visions, but a light went on in my life and I began to experience being loved for who I am in a powerful way. I fell in love with Jesus, the bible and His people.
25 years on, I have proved Him to be true through painful trials and much joy. Jesus saved our marriage and gave us a foundation upon which to raise our boys. They learned how unique and special they are, with a purpose and destiny that only they can fulfil. As grown men, having charted their own spiritual journey for themselves, they too now know Him.
I commend this living Jesus to you too - Vivien.
Vivien and her husband are enjoying their retirement down here on the South Coast. |
